I still find myself waking up at night alone and wondering if I will ever feel the leather of an owner's collar again. I had been collared for so long and although I was away a lot, there was always that chain linked, even if imaginary, from my Mistress' hand to my heart. Now, I'm left with a big hole.
Sometimes I just want to go out to the nearest club, stand on a table and yell, "Any takers. One night fuck me, use me, abuse me." I have to restrain from that or I'm afraid I'd go from being a slave to being a slut...well, in some ways that would be okay because as long as I'm owned I will be a slut, slave, or whatever my owner wants.
I've had Masters, Mistress', those who wanted me to call them "Dom" or "Domme" and I've been used ten different ways to one, and I've served ten different ways to one. I believe I could write the book on how a submissive is to be. I say "is to be" because i get tired of hearing submissives I've known say things like "This is how it should be," or "This is how I want it to be," etc. So many of them fail to understand that it isn't about how it "should" be, it's about how it "is". It "is" anyway your owner wants it to be. I told one whinny sub one time that complained that all his owner wanted to do was "shove a vibrating dildo up his ass and watch", that he was blessed to have that and should treasure each moment of how his owner said it "is" going to be. In retrospect, I'm honestly not sure he was a true sub... Although I do have to say I drew the line when an owner wanted to castrate me one time, but it was very fun play though...
Someday, as they say, my new owner's day will come...
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
On CBT
One of the hardest things (no pun intended) for a slave to endure is CBT. Cock Ball Toture is designed to bring the male slave to his knees, the floor, or cause him to pass out. Having been the receiving end of CBT on many occasions, I have found an equal amount of aggression in both the Dom and the Domme of the sexes.
I have noticed a few differences though and I'd like to point out my observations for you considerations here. Although minor, it could affect your next slave greatly.
The Dom tends to want to work on the balls more than the cock in this area of torture. It is almost as if the Dom, having his own set of balls, wants to see just how tough your balls are. He will slap them, clamp them, tie them and stretch them with great joy as the slave, in this case me, screams, crys and begs him not to rip them off my body. The Doms for the most part tend to stay away from the cock, especially if errect during this time.
On the other hand, the Domme is well spread in her desire to inflict pain on all areas. A Domme tends to start out gentle and even in a massage like manner so as to bring the slave to full errection before she starts. I have had many Dommes even masturbate me to the verge of my control, just before leaving my cock sticking up and stopping. Most of the time they will stop for moments while the urge dies down slightly and then start their torture session. A Domme seems more interested in keeping the slave's cock errect throughout the process whereas the Dom seems more interested in simply torture.
This has simply been my experience and hopefully in the future, I will experience either a Domme or Dom's hand again at CBT.
I have noticed a few differences though and I'd like to point out my observations for you considerations here. Although minor, it could affect your next slave greatly.
The Dom tends to want to work on the balls more than the cock in this area of torture. It is almost as if the Dom, having his own set of balls, wants to see just how tough your balls are. He will slap them, clamp them, tie them and stretch them with great joy as the slave, in this case me, screams, crys and begs him not to rip them off my body. The Doms for the most part tend to stay away from the cock, especially if errect during this time.
On the other hand, the Domme is well spread in her desire to inflict pain on all areas. A Domme tends to start out gentle and even in a massage like manner so as to bring the slave to full errection before she starts. I have had many Dommes even masturbate me to the verge of my control, just before leaving my cock sticking up and stopping. Most of the time they will stop for moments while the urge dies down slightly and then start their torture session. A Domme seems more interested in keeping the slave's cock errect throughout the process whereas the Dom seems more interested in simply torture.
This has simply been my experience and hopefully in the future, I will experience either a Domme or Dom's hand again at CBT.
My Loss
You cannot imagine how it feels to wake up one morning and find your owner is gone. I was collared several years ago and we enjoy our relationship, but my owner died today. She was only the fourth person to have collared me, but I thought she might be the last.
What's a slave to do in this world. I've been left without a collar. That's part of the reason I'm starting this blog. I want to meet like minded people, male and female, couples and singles, everyone who has ever had an interest or is interested in owning a slave. My grief is still strong right now, but I'm sure the right person with the right tools can force me to think about something else.
What's a slave to do in this world. I've been left without a collar. That's part of the reason I'm starting this blog. I want to meet like minded people, male and female, couples and singles, everyone who has ever had an interest or is interested in owning a slave. My grief is still strong right now, but I'm sure the right person with the right tools can force me to think about something else.
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