Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The Erection and The Slave

I've often wondered about the connection between the male's mentally of being a slave and his erection. For example, I have seen many slaves when being punished by their owners do not have erections. I have seen this with humiliation, cross dressing, whipping, cbt, bondage, and all forms of owner enjoyment of their slaves. The erection, while there initially in many cases, fades quickly.

I, on the other hand, am the opposite. If my owner, or even a user for an evening, mentions what is going to happen, I instantly erect. While the erection may waiver during a beating, choking, or even while I'm being used sexually, it is still present and at least semi-hard. I have noticed that when I'm spoken too harshly or threatened like "I'm going to make you bleed," or "You'll have two assholes when I'm done," or "What the hell do you call these, balls?" I am instantly turned on. I find myself conditioning myself on many occasions as well to be prepared.

By conditioning, I mean that if an owner or potential owner or even a one night enjoy a slave ride is willing to give me a picture or let me hear their voice, I immediately start imaging myself at His or Her feet. I may print the picture and stare into the face or eyes as I masturbate. I've even grabbed by own balls and squeezed so hard that pain shot all through me while I imagined the person the picture controlling me. By this conditioning, once the owner or potential owner is ready for me, my focus is Him or Her. I believe this may contribute to my constant erection even during abuse. Basically my mind has decided this is my act of sexual fulfillment and that the person in front of me is the only way I can have it.

Perhaps this is why the last time my a potential owner told me He would like to remove my nuts, my erection was constantly bobbing out in front of my like a fool. That one then put His boot on my chest, pushed me back to the bed and started CBT on my until tears were streaming down my face and I was begging him to stop.