Friday, December 12, 2014

Christmas Time Post

Well it's been awhile since I've been able to post. Some of you may know that I was in a bad wreck a few months ago. Banged me up pretty good...and not in the "good" way. Once I got over that, I was on the road. I think the company I work for saved all my work for my return. Naturally, it was shortly after this that I met a beautiful woman interested in collaring me. Yes, as you can imagine, that made me rock hard again. Anyway, right after we talked, I was off on work everywhere and it seems like each time we try to connect either she is out of town or I'm on the road. I'm confident though that someday soon I'll find myself with a leash leading from her hand to my collar as I kneel in front of her. On the other side, I hope everyone has a great Christmas. If you have time read through some of my old post and we'll see you all soon. Maybe the next time I post, it will be a story about how my Mistress treats me....until then, don't lose the key.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

In BDSM, When Does Play Become Abuse?

I recently posted a question to different social media outlets with various answers. The question was simple, "When, for you, does play cross over into abuse?" So far on some outlets I've received answers like the following:

Never - I'm in control! When the safe word is ignored. When you reach the limits of your sub and force him or her beyond. Depends on the relationship.

I think ultimately I like the last answer best. I once wrote about castration on this blog to have a Domme inform me that was cruel and wrong. Her comment is still attached to the post and I respect her for it. I don't know if I always agree. It think the last answer above would be best because it does depend on the relationship.

Take for example my relationship with my Mistress. If you remember she passed away several years ago now. We had a positive relationship and met often. We were moving toward complete submission. By complete submission, I mean I was willing to get married. She had arranged for a friend to conduct the ceremony and for us to live together in Memphis. It was a very exciting time and we talked about a lot of things.

For us, tattoos were going to be a must. She wanted a wedding ring tattooed on each of our hands. I would have a ring on my ring finger that said, "Angie's". She would have a ring on hers that said, "Doug". In case you didn't catch it, she had the possessive "'s" and I did not...cute, uh? lol. Anyway. She further wanted a tattoo on my cock with her name. I'll be honest, I was worried about that one. I could just feel the needles pricking into my prick! I honestly did not know if I could handle it.

Finally we had agreed to two final points in our relationship. First, I would take her last name. That's natural for a sub to do in my world, and I know several who have done this. We also agreed that within one year, I would have my sperm frozen and kept on file for future possible offspring we might agree to. We had talked about the possibility of having children and not exposing them to our world. For all they would know, we were husband and wife like any other couple. The reason for having the sperm frozen was a safeguard. Angie, for all the love I had of her and the fun she had with my balls, had toyed with the idea of having me castrated. She had a family member who was a physician and she knew some of the benefits of castration, such as longer life, etc. She also knew that I could be kept fit by injections and that everything would still work with those injections. She said that by having the sperm stored, I would never know if and when she might decide to, as she used to like to joke, take me to the vet and have me fixed. In other words it was the excitement of never knowing. I might go in for a routine physical and come out a Eunuch at anytime.

Initially, I was concerned about this, but then again I loved my Mistress. This was also not an abusive situation. She was not going to cut my balls off during play and leave me to bleed to death. She wasn't going to beat me unconscious for me to wake up with a vet standing over me to remove my testicles. There had always been a lot of cock play. She had a large knife that she called her "Cock Cutting Knife" and she toyed with me often; however, it never went too far. We still had a safe word and she still respected me. To some, the idea of having my testicles removed might seem terrible...to me it was play. It was never abuse.

I've seen people who were abused. I know of one submissive who had his jaw broken when his Mistress hit him. That, to me, was extreme abuse. Was the act of slapping him abusive? Not necessarily, but certainly the broken jaw was abusive. Had Angie tied me down and cut my balls off, I would have been abused, but I don't think I would have if I agreed in a safe environment. Fortunately, Angie was never abusive to me. We talked about everything from tattoos to castration, to Prince Alberts. I never felt forced and I never felt abused; however, for some people, waking up to find their Mistress' family member about to remove testicles would have been abusive. I don't feel it would have been at that point in the relationship, but then again that's me. It would have been for other reasons. I'm not even sure it would have ever happened. After all Angie always said one of the things she loved was CBT and CBT without balls is just Cock Torture.....and where's the fun in that?

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Slaves down on Lonely Street

It was a 1950s Elvis Presley song that sounded out the words, "I'm down at the end of Lonely Street...." It seems that is where a lot of submissive men find them themselves these days....hanging out on Lonely Street. The fact is it's easy for a female submissive or female domme to find an abundance of Doms, Domme's or slaves. It's harder for the male submissive to find a Dom or Domme. I would like to think that there are simply more fewer submissive women and fewer Doms and Domme's out there than there are submissive men, but that simply wouldn't make much sense. It seems hard to believe that all the slaves hanging out on Lonely Street are fat, middle-aged men with fantasies of some hot young Domme spanking them....only to find that when reality sets in they chicken out. I simply can not believe they are all simple computer geeks hiding behind keyboards....there's bound to be a pool of real slaves seeking. Unfortunately for those real slaves like myself, when we do get out on twitter (Slave_4_Collar) or out on Yahoo and Google, ninety percent of the time I find Domme's seeking a dime only. There are tons of these Dommes out there. They will tell you what to do as long as you provide the financial follow up. I had a recent conversation with one that told me to go jack off in a cup, drink it, and buy her a tribute to show my gratitude for her allowing me to cum. Consequently, I jacked off, I drank it and I did not send any tribute. Sorry, I just can't pay from back here on Lonely Street. So the question becomes, what's a sub to do? Does he just give up and try to find his own submissive woman or man that he can occasionally switch roles with to get his own thrills? Would it be better to just give up and find a nice mate? Maybe pop the submissive side later in the relationship and see what happens? Or is the sub doomed to stay on Lonely Street forever? To tell the truth, I haven't found the answer. I maintain this blog in hopes of feedback. Even when I get feedback that says something like, "If you were mine, I'd...." it's nice. Even if that person has no intention of ever placing a collar around my neck, it's cool to know people are reading. Too often, I hope back into my blog and find there's been a good readership with no comments. I've also noticed on my blog that the more I describe my self training, or sexual acts completed alone, the more feedback I get. So if I describe how I sometimes tie a belt around my neck, pull it tight, and then jack off while I'm starting to black out, have a huge cum, and wake up to find the belt loose and cum splattered across my legs, more people will respond. But ultimately, like so many slaves down on Lonely Street, I want more. I want to have a Domme or Dom that I can wake up at the foot of the bed and serve breakfast too, that I can massage in a large tub, that will force me to wear a cock cage despite my throbbing hard on each time I think about them, and maybe in the end an owner that will remove that cage from time-to-time and allow me to pump it with a belt or noose tight around my neck and balls. I know, it all sounds like too much, but somewhere out there there is a Dom or Domme who is searching for that slave that is me....maybe if you meet them, you can just point them down Lonely Street.