Tuesday, January 23, 2018

New Year Update

Well not much has been happening at the close of 2017 and start of 2018. I have been working on a short book that I intend to publish soon. It's a combination of some of my experiences and some fantasy stuff. I honestly don't know if I'll publish it or not. May just forget it.

I will tell you that during a trip, just before Christmas, I met a fascinating woman in Oklahoma. I was in a training for pharmacy sells and seated at a table with three of reps. Some of these folks were from the same company I work for and others were from other companies. None of them know about my life as a submissive, although I suspect I do give signs.

The reason I suspect I give signs was the woman to my left kept making little "dominating" comments. You know the kind, "Well if we had a woman in the White House things would be different," or "Hillary should have chopped Bill's balls off years ago," or "My supervisor is a woman and I'm sooooo thankful." She would make these comments and then cut her eyes slightly at me. At first I thought it was the "You're a man," thing, but as the training went along, I found it was something different.

About two hours before the training was to end and after our third break or so, we sat down and somehow her hand found my leg. I jumped slightly at first, but not enough to get everyone's attention. My new friend seemed to notice how I responded and she left her hand on my leg. As we talked above the table, her hand gradually rubbed back and forth on my leg.

Well, needless to say I was glad my cock was pointing upward at the time because it did not take long for a standing erection to give pressure to my dress pants. At different times she would remove her hand and then return it. Each time she seemed closer and closer to my raging hard on. She had already given me a little smile that basically said, "Is this okay? ....oh yeah, I can tell by the way your eyes are glazing over it's fine."

By the time her hand reached my throbbing cock, she must have known she had me. She brushed me through my pants slightly just before laughing at a joke someone said at the table. The idiot making the joke must have thought his stupid joke was the greatest thing in the world the way she laughed. He thought she was laughing at his joke, but I knew she was laughing because she knew she was in complete control of me at the time.

The kind of pants I wear to these events is usually dress pants - these type have loose and easy to move material unlike jeans. As a result, you can easily find anything in them. They are so soft and easy to feel through, I sometimes think you could count pubic hairs through them. This woman was not, however, counting pubic hairs. Within a few minutes of touching my cock, laughing at the joke, and smiling at me, she had found my left nut.

For a second she rolled the little guy around between her thumb and finger. Up to this point most of her movements could have been taken by those above the table as her simply adjusting her dress or moving uncomfortably in the seat. I don't know how she kept them thinking this since her arm visibly moved at this point. It was at that moment, in our close seating arrangement that she said, "You know I hate the way these hose keep moving around on me," and I knew it was cover.

She stopped moving then, but kept my nut firmly between her finger and thumb. As the time passed she began to squeeze it. First it was a gentle squeeze - the type that say's to a man, "Hey, you're dumping this load tonight," but as time went the squeeze got harder. It gradually became the type of squeeze that said, "Hey, if I could pop this nut, I damn sure would!"

I struggled to keep a straight face and when the guy sitting next to me asked if I was okay, I just responded, "Yeah, I think I ate something bad for lunch."

When the end of the program came, she had almost increased the pressure to the point to where I was going to start crying. I was already breathing irregular and anyone around must have thought I was or was going to have a heart attack. When the event was over, she let go quickly and stood up with the rest of the room. I waited a moment to allow my nut to feel like it was expanding again.

I stood up a moment later as everyone was leaving the room. The woman, whose name was apparently "Charlene" by her name tag, smiled at me and asked, "Do you have a business card?" I said, "Yes and obediently handed it to her."

Charlene looked down at the front of my pants and must have seen the wet spot I was trying to hide with my jacket. She smiled, "How long have you been submissive?" she asked. "Since I was a little boy," I responded.

She smiled and turned to walk away. She looked back as if it was an afterthought. "I'll give you a call sometime Doug. It was great to meet you. I love networking with other providers and their employees. We should get together sometime."

I was going to respond, but before I could another person walked up to me and started talking about how great the training had been. I looked around after agreeing and did not see Charlene anywhere. I really wanted to find out about getting to know her better because she picked up on my submissive side immediately. Unfortunately, I failed to get her business card and I have no idea what company she was with so I'll just have to wait and see if she calls me.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

First Castration Scare

Many of you may remember that my Mistress for sometime died a few years ago. I have not been collared since. I have had people want to, some wanted money - not going to happen - others it simply did not work out. Even for awhile I thought about finding my own slave and forcing him or her to "switch" from time to time, but who knows what will work since I'm submissive by nature. My Mistress used to love to play, and some of the memories I have relived her has shown that. One thing she said that she would do something was have me castrated. She had read all the books that said how it was beneficial to the male, how it would make a docile male even more docile, and how sexual urges would then be controlled through medications in addition to whatever other means an owner might want to take. Early in our relationship I was required to put my "donation" into storage. That meant that I, unlike other men, had to go to the fertility clinic where my Mistress announced that I needed to store my sperm for our potential future children and then she demanded to be in the room while I produced. Naturally, she found it easy to get me to chunk a load into the cup as I had been locked in chastity at that point for about two weeks. Those little baby makers just clumped right out into the cup as we locked eyes while I pumped away. After that, she was free to "surprise" me with castration at anytime. She played a lot with the idea, but the most afraid I ever was happened one night when we were supposed to be alone. She had spread out a plastic sheet on the bed and told me to lay on it naked. I did so, all the time imagining one of those mob movies where they shoot the guy in the plastic and haul the body away to never be seen again. The plastic crumpled and was uncomfortable, but I made do. In a few minutes she had my arms tied to the upper bedpost and my legs spread wide apart. It was at that moment that she announced she was going to shave my balls with a straight razor. I know I trembled as she put a blind fold on me and insisted that I not move. However, she said that her brother, a doctor, was in the living room watching TV in case she made an "oops-sy". I was shaking when I felt the edge of the straight razor touch the underside of my balls. I could not figure out why she wanted to do this since I was already clean shaven, but my mind - knowing her brother truly was a physician - begin to think the worse. I kept thinking, she swore if this was ever done she would get it professionally done and I would be out like a light. Here I was wide awake. The razor moved freely over my nuts and cock and despite my best effort I began to salute my Mistress. At that point she just laughed and said, "I think he really wants these two nuts out of his way," and with that she gently pulled each one down into the bottom of my sac. I was blindfolded and had been paying complete attention to my Mistress when I heard a man's voice in the room, "I thought you didn't want him to hurt through this?" Now I began to beg and plead. I kept thinking, "I'm young, hung, and full of cum.....wouldn't it be better to leave my nuts and torture them." All my Mistress did was laugh and say, "Look at him shaking all scared his little nuts are going bye-bye today." With that I heard the male voice say, "You're not doing this with him awake," just as there was a stinging sensation in my right hip followed by the familiar cold feel of an alcohol swab. "There," he said. "Let him sleep and I'll do him once he's out." At this point I was downright balling my eyes out. My Mistress said with a little alarm, "Hey, I wanted to get him off one more time." With that she began to work my cock like crazy up and down. She had some sort of jel, I assumed shaving cream, and it felt like I was sliding inside of her as her hand worked me quickly. Because she was in a wheelchair, she spent most of her time with her upper body working to move, and get around. It was showing now as I was nearing unconsciousness and ejaculation at the same time. Within a moment, I grunted and felt my load leap out of the end of my cock. I felt the cool hot splash of it as it landed on my stomach, chest and event upper collar bone. I was almost out when I heard her brother say, "That was a good last load," and she responded, "Yep, glad he's empty now." That was the last thing I remember. I woke up later with no plastic on the bed and curled to one side of the bed. My Mistress and her brother were nowhere to be found. I immediately reached down and found both balls still attached and safely in the sac. I heard her enter the room in her wheelchair. I looked at her and saw that she was completely nude except for a towel in her hair. She smiled and held up a Popsicle stick, "Amazing how that will make you think it's a straight razor isn't it? I like castration play....don't you? I think we'll do that more often in different ways." I swallowed, hit the floor and immediately crawled in front of her chair. There I kissed her knees and rapidly moved her legs apart and found her inner thigh and the rest of her sex. She immediately let out a sigh and gulped in air almost at the same time as I licked and licked-worshiping her like I had not done in sometime. "Wow," she managed. "If I knew castration scares will get this response out of you I'd be doing them nightly. To this day I believe she used the Popsicle stick, but I have no idea what the man - whom I believed to be her brother - gave me a shot of that put me to sleep. She never told me when she was alive and I never asked. I did increase my offer of oral sex nightly for the rest of her life.

Monday, April 17, 2017

Locked Up for .....Nobody

It's been awhile since I have posted here, but to be honest I have been swamped with work. I've also been constantly looking for a new owner. I must admit, it's hard....no pun intended...to find an owner in this world. Everyone seems only interested in financial slaves. Well anyway, here's what I've been up to... I decided about two weeks ago now to lock myself up. I still have a nice, plastic chastity cage. It has the standard lock on top and fits in such a way to allow my balls to be slightly pushed out. I can still use the restroom and have honestly had it off for cleaning, but otherwise I have worn it constantly. Now, if you know anything about these plastic cages, then you know the steel lock clicks each time you walk. In other words it's like you're announcing to the world that you have something metal in your pants. The best way to remedy this little problem is to wrap some tissue around the lock, and tape it on. Once done, it muffles the clicking sound when you walk. So, it's been two weeks of cock-binding, hard-on killing, chastity so far. I'm thinking of going for a month and then seeing what sort of load I can produce. As I get older, I find changes occurring daily to my sexual abilities. Let me tell you something Doms....while you're out there pound as much ass and as much pussy as you can. When you find yourself older, you'll just be happy to have some little slut fondling your balls. Well, I digress. It's time to go take the cock out and clean it again. I'll try to keep you updated and maybe even post a picture of the load when it comes time. Just remember, this is for nobody....maybe you'd like to be in control????

Monday, August 22, 2016

First Cock in the Ass

I've written about a lot of first times on this blog, but I believe this is the first time I've told about a Dom fucking me. It was several years ago and I was a pretty young sub. Naturally, I had my ass played with, even poked and prodded with various items, but I never had a full grown man's dick inside me. I had been owned by my Dom for sometime and we were both tested, so protection was not a problem. Our usual routines consisted of me sucking him off, cleaning his home, doing his laundry and fixing him meals. In turn I got to sleep in his bed, wear his collar and occasionally, I got to jack off while he or his friends watched. It was late one night when my Dom pushed in a contraption he had made. He looked at me for a moment before saying, "Doug, do you trust me." I naturally replied "Yes" at which point I was instructed to climb up on the contraption. The device was padded down the middle of a two by four and framed in such a way that I had to lay on one two by four on my stomach, with my chin on the board causing me to look almost straight up if I was standing. My arms were then secured to two other boards near my mid checks and aiming out. The board ended about my naval and there a V was made that each leg had to be secured in. I basically looked like a Spinx or something of a statue. First he secured my head and neck, then my arms and waist and finally each let. I was essentially on all fours with my ass, balls and cock exposed and spread behind me. My master moved behind me and rubbed my buttock for several minutes, he then reached down to my dangling balls and cock and began to stroke them. My first thought was this was some kind of milking board and he was going to milk me off. After a moment he stopped, leaving my cock bouncing around I might add, and asked me if I was ready for the next level. I replied I was to which I felt his finger enter my ass. I could tell immediately that his finger was lubed with something, so I expected that the next thing might be a dildo, or probe or something, but then I remember the feeling. I felt something hard and alive at my ass door. I felt his upper thigh area against my legs and his hips against my butt. Without a word or warning, I felt his hot and throbbing cock slide into my ass. At first it hurt like hell, but then I could tell he had lubed up. Slowly he began fucking my ass. At first I thought it felt like a dildo, but then there was something different. He pushed in several times hitting my prostate and causing me to get hard. I know I began to moan outloud because he said, "That's good, take it like a slut" to which I even moaned more. While it seemed like forever, it must have only been a few minutes before my Master unloaded into me. I felt him grow, throb, and actually pump into me with his read dick. The feeling was unlike anything I had ever known before. When he was finished with me, I was left trembling in the knees and my ass squeezing for more as his juice dripped out of me. Later we were laying in bed as he was watching the late show with me leaning on his shoulder. He looked over at me and asked me if I liked being fucked in the ass.....I smiled, nodded, and went under the covers. He came again, this time filling my mouth, within a few minutes....it was fine, the late show was a rerun anyway.

Saturday, August 6, 2016

By His Balls

There is a very old saying in the world, "Grab a man by his balls and his heart and mind will soon follow." As to the point as they saying is, the more important thing to remember is that it's true. The key to a man is his balls. If you want to make your man happy, massage his balls. If you want to make a slave obedient, torture his balls. It's been done all through history. Enemy soldiers capture on the battlefield and put into slavery or sold as slaves often had that little modification done first.....removal of the balls. It made them docile and showed they were no longer men, simply beat and owned slaves. Eunuchs have been around for hundreds of years and often made that way to ensure they did not tamper with the women of the king, or owner of the slaves. Face it, it's still the way to a man's heart. Like most men I had to learn this the hard way. I was always submissive. From the time I was a young kid in school I always wanted to captured by the girls team, or treated as their slave, or whatever came to my mind as we played. I can remember playing the yard one time and we had captured a blond girl - just happened to be one I was smitten with - and the boys tied her up. I can remember sitting there thinking, "That should be me tied up, not her," but even still there was something about her that was attractive tied up. Much later in life when I first submitted to a woman the first thing that happened was I was stripped. Standing in front of her nude she began to inspect my cock and balls with her hand. Naturally it shot up rock hard to greet her....this though was not received with tender affection or love....instead a hard slap to the cock, a quick grasp of both my nuts in her palm - effectively putting me on the floor, and a couple of snaps later I found my self fitted with my first cock cage. It was a plastic container that allowed my cock to grow, but only with small pain. That Mistress continued to teach me for sometime over the duration of her ownership. I wore a cock cage almost constantly, had no sexual relationships, and was only let out of the cage for cleaning - which another male slave completed for me roughly and if I showed any signs of an erection, he would firmly grasp my balls together and squeeze them until the erection died off. I learned the erection had better die off quickly. I went through all sorts of CBT -but finally after about six weeks of training, this Mistress had me brought before her and again stripped. This time my cock cage was removed. She examined me closely and to my shock and her delight, my cock just hung limp as she held it. She comment that I had learned well, brought in one of her female slaves, had her strip in front of me and display herself for me....She then taught me my final lesson and said, "The only time you will ever be allowed to have an erection is if it pleases your owner, you are being allowed to relieve yourself, you are fucking or performing with another slave for your owner's pleasure. Otherwise, your pleasure days are over." After her speech she motioned to the female slave showing her self to me, "She is very attractive. You may not touch her, but you will show her that you are nothing but a male slave - female slaves are above you even - and you will jack off while looking at her so that I may watch and she will know that she is attractive to you." After all the punishment, it took a few minutes but before I knew it I had shot a load out onto the floor and felt like I was owned not only by the Mistress, but also by her slave. It was then that I learned that any slave shooting his load is required to clean it up....without any cleaning supplies-but that's a story for another time.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Always For Her Fun

Several years ago when I was still a young, viral, stud and the very thought of a sexual activity, no matter how degrading or how much was involved would turn my cock into a rock hard statue, I had a somewhat overweight Mistress. She had no problem getting me aroused and although I had never been turned on by what most people would call a "fat chick," she somehow always managed to keep me hard and in suspense. She had been a paramedic, before she got too out of shape and became a volunteer for the unit, so this position afforded her the opportunity to have some fun with the supplies. Believe me, you've never been tied until you've been tied on a stretcher board, nude with your cock pointing straight up into the cool air of the room. After about a month of service, my Mistress decided she was going to give me a treat. I knew she had other slaves, but I wasn't sure what she meant by treat. She explained to me that I would get to eat out one of her female slaves. She said that because I had been so good to her, she had picked a special slave for me and that if I could make the slave cum, I would get an additional treat. As you can imagine I was thrilled. Being a young, and somewhat dumb, slave, I figured that I could make her female slave cum in no time. I also figured that the "additional treat" could only mean my own release to cum. I fantasized licking the clit of a firm, slim and hot slave before mounting her and pounding away on her. I had seem many of the other slaves Mistress had and believe me, they were hot little things that visited from time-to-time. My big day came and I was tied to a bed on my back and told that I would have to make the slave cum as she sat on my face. To my surprise, my Mistress then proceeded to place two little tubes in my nose attached to a hose. As I heard the hissing sound of air coming through the tubes and going deep into my nose I remembered the time she had somehow gotten some dental gas and used it on me. I laughed half the night thinking everything from a meat thermometer sticking out of my dick to a plunger handle in my butt was funny (don't worry, it was one of those very short handles...lol. This time though it was not any gas, but instead it seemed to be oxygen. I breathed and looked at my Mistress with what must have been a questioning look. "Oh, I don't want you to die while you're satisfying my other slave, so you'll be able to breath this and lick as needed. It was a new idea, but I liked it. It mean I wouldn't have to come up from driving the hot little slave crazy for air. The next thing that surprised me a little was Mistress put my cock in a cage. As I had mentioned, at this time I stayed hard a lot, but a simple thumb from the palm of her hand and a firm testicle twist and my cock shrank instantly. The cage was slipped on me and locked in place. Mistress said I was now ready. A slave with a collar only walked into the room. To my horror she was almost twice as large as Mistress. This was not a dainty little slave like I had seen around the house. This lady had fat rolls where fat should not be. I was horrified. She got up on the bed and made her way to my head smiling. Slowly she lowered herself down on my face. The rolls of fat were pulled away as she settled onto my face, covering my mouth, nose, eyes, and chin. I immediately started to lick and was only imagining what having to fuck this huge slave was going to be like. Naturally the oxygen worked just like it was supposed to and I didn't suffocate, but I sure did eat the biggest I have ever ate. When Mistress' slave finally came, it was in waves that washed over my face. She got off and I could see Mistress sitting there clapping her hands together as if thrilled. She got up and wiped off my face. I was at least happy that I was going to get to cum. I knew the fat slave was a lot, but I was used to Mistress so it wouldn't be too bad. "Well, you get your treat now," she said as she reached for the cock cage, took it in her hand, and then gave it a little bounce off my lower stomach. It smacked with me inside and restrained. "Now you get to lay right there and watch my slave and me make out for the next hour or so.....I'm sure I'll smile a lot and cum a lot since you like fat girls cumming." My heart sank. Not only did I just eat out her fat slave, but I prepared her for making out with my Mistress. She smiled one last time before the slave dove hungrily between her spread legs. "You didn't think the reward was for your fun did you? Remember slut, it's always for my fun."

Monday, November 30, 2015

Claustrophobia and the Aging Slave

It seems the older I get, the more claustrophobic I feel as my erections seem to wane and fail. Perhaps it is diet, age, or a lack of physical exercise but the two issues seem to go hand-in-hand. I had recently noticed a claustrophobic feeling in elevators, closed spaces, and even in small showers. I would start to feel a panic and even a constriction on my breathing. Now, for a slave who has been wrapped in plastic wrap, tied completely, hog tied and even shoved into tiny cages, this is not a good thing to feel. I was even reading about a Domme who puts her male slaves into small box like cages complete with butt plugs and dildos that provide water and I started to panic! I started to think, "Oh crap, what if a future owner wanted to do this to me?" The other matter I face is the waning or apparently dying off of the mighty erection. There was a time when I could simply think about a Master or Mistress standing over me and instantly spring to erection life! Now even the thought of a good knee in the balls does little for my cock and it's need to rise up. In fact, it seems he lays around more than he shoots up these days. I read an erotic story, and he just stays flat. I think about a Mistress riding my ass into the ground, and he stays down. I recently spoke to one Mistress who would find this nice since she does not equate sexuality with any form of BDSM. While that's nice, I have to admit that I got into being a submissive because it aroused me. I didn't run around and think, "Wow, what would it feel like if a Master spanked by balls with that paddle?" just for the hell of thinking about it. No, like other slaves it caused me to spring to life. I guess as I see it, I have a couple of choices. First, I could live with the claustrophobia and have my Masters or Mistress put it to good use for their entertainment and my torture. I could also live with the limp cock and allow it to be amusement for a Master or Mistress. I could resort to medications for both. I could allow some aspiring Mistress or Master to finally own me completely and have a medical castration performed. Or, finally I could become dominant and select willing young men and women as my own slaves, teach them the ways of being a slave, and maybe occasionally allow them a moment of dominance to meet my submissive needs. Whatever the decision is I make, one thing is for sure....I'm not the horny 30 year old slave that I once was. I have to accept age and time and maybe somewhere a collar will have my name on it still.