Alone

I still find myself waking up at night alone and wondering if I will ever feel the leather of an owner's collar again. I had been collared for so long and although I was away a lot, there was always that chain linked, even if imaginary, from my Mistress' hand to my heart. Now, I'm left with a big hole.

Sometimes I just want to go out to the nearest club, stand on a table and yell, "Any takers. One night fuck me, use me, abuse me." I have to restrain from that or I'm afraid I'd go from being a slave to being a slut...well, in some ways that would be okay because as long as I'm owned I will be a slut, slave, or whatever my owner wants.

I've had Masters, Mistress', those who wanted me to call them "Dom" or "Domme" and I've been used ten different ways to one, and I've served ten different ways to one. I believe I could write the book on how a submissive is to be. I say "is to be" because i get tired of hearing submissives I've known say things like "This is how it should be," or "This is how I want it to be," etc. So many of them fail to understand that it isn't about how it "should" be, it's about how it "is". It "is" anyway your owner wants it to be. I told one whinny sub one time that complained that all his owner wanted to do was "shove a vibrating dildo up his ass and watch", that he was blessed to have that and should treasure each moment of how his owner said it "is" going to be. In retrospect, I'm honestly not sure he was a true sub... Although I do have to say I drew the line when an owner wanted to castrate me one time, but it was very fun play though...

Someday, as they say, my new owner's day will come...